Painful sex during Perimenopause and Menopause

If you’re over 35 and sex has become painful, you’re not alone. Painful sex during perimenopause and menopause is, unfortunately, a very common reality for many women. And no, it’s not your fault because “you’re not turned on”, it’s biological- there’s a scientific reason for it.

This video is the perspective of a young woman who had painful sex due to endometriosis- but the feeling is similar for women who have low estrogen during perimenopause and menopause.

Estrogen or rather a lack of it is to blame.

Women’s Estrogen levels drop 35% between the age of 35 and 50 and this results in vaginal dryness and thinned lining of the vaginal tissues. For some women this just makes sex feel rough and uncomfortable, for others it’s painful and can even feel like shards of glass.

painful sex during perimenopause and menopause

What can I do about painful sex during perimenopause and menopause?

Communicate with your partner. They have to be aware of the issue so that they understand. It’s helpful to ensure that you have a natural lubricant beside the bed. A natural lubricant made with therapeutic grade pure essential oils will not only assist with the irritation but help improve it.

Please don’t use KY or any chemical-based lubricant from the supermarket as it will only irritate the situation.

Ingredients of commercial KY Lubricant:

Need we say more? That stuff needs to stay away from your vulva and vagina.

Natural Vaginal Lubricant

  • Fractionated Coconut Oil, Jojoba Oil or Apricot Kernel Oil
    (use 2 parts aloe vera gel, one part coconut oil ) eg 2 tablespoons aloe vera and 1 tablespoon coconut oil.
  • Roman Chamomile,
  • Lavender,
  • Frankincense,
  • Sandalwood,
  • Geranium (or Rose)

According to licensed Psychologist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist in Los Angeles DrShannon Chavez Qureshi, PsyD, CST– when choosing a carrier oil for use with your lubricant:

  • Jojoba oil helps provide moisture and strengthens skin and tissues.
  • Apricot Kernel Oil is rich in essential fatty acids like oleic and linoleic acid, and high in vitamin A. Since it easily penetrates the skin, it is a good oil for moisturizing.

The lubricant can be used at any time that you feel dry- not just before, during or after sex.

What else should I do to avoid painful sex?

Please ensure you are not exposing yourself to soap. You don’t need to wash your vagina or vulva.

And make sure your undies are made from a breathable fabric such as cotton or bamboo or have a breathable gusset.

Do your vaginal exercises to get the blood flowing! (free pelvic floor exercise guide)

Watch this video- you’ll learn a lot about your pelvic floor- it’s not just something that you need to think about immediately after you have a baby!

Join our Perimenopause and Menopause Online Community

painful sex during perimenopause and menopause

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Ready to feel better? Shop now for fractionated coconut oil and the essential oils mentioned above, to help reduce the pain you experience during sex.

painful sex during perimenopause and menopause
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