Dating after divorce
How soon is too soon to start dating after divorce? The answer to this is both simple and complex. It is also highly individual. Before you start dating, you must process your emotions surrounding the dissolution of your previous relationship. Or to put it simply, don’t just fuck someone for revenge.
Only you can tell when the time is right, and like most of us, you will think you are ready, when you are not. The best thing you can do is take some time to be alone, to grieve, to rebuild your strength and courage and self identity and to enjoy being by yourself. In short, learn to love yourself first, before you date again.
If you run into the arms of another lover you risk making the same mistakes. You also risk starting a relationship based on that person’s ability to “fix” you.
There are times when we are propelled into dating, to help with a physical urge to feel wanted and needed, and to fill a sexual hole. It’s understandable, but it’s also empty sex. Devoid of love and meaning.
The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. You will stuff up, but date by date, you will learn a little more about yourself, about the qualities that you do and don’t want this time, and you will learn what you heart can bear, and what it desires.
I started dating about a year after my divorce. Or should I say tried to date. It was not successful, as I was hurt and angry and propelled this onto prospective dates. This inevitably resulted in some now funny, dating disasters. I needed three years alone to face the dating world again.
How has your dating experience been post separation and divorce?