womens new midlife crisis

Review: Why We can’t sleep- Women’s New Midlife Crisis

Are there days when you feel like you are drowning? Are you a Generation Xer? – we were the generation of women who were told we could be everything and have everything!

And so we thought we could conquer the world. Yet here we are, feeling more stressed than ever, feeling like our careers are stalling, or just never turned out the way we thought they would, despite the fact that we have worked our butts off.

Ada Calhoun

I’ve just finished reading Why We can’t sleep- Women’s New Midlife Crisis by Ada Calhoun.

There are so many passages in the book that had me nodding, or exclaiming out loud YES!

I thought it was “just me”. That I was the odd one one, the problem child, the disappointment in my Masters Circle of friend, yet this book opened my mind to the fact that what I have been feeling does not make me “strange” or abnormal, or unsuccessful or a misfit.

The more I delve into understanding Perimenopause, the more I understand that this is not just a hormonal thing, it’s generational- and you don’t necessarily need a change in hormones to experience these feelings- although Perimenopause can exacerbate these feelings, and your body may start expressing itself in hot flushes or other “symptoms”.

“Women’s crises tend to be quieter than men’s. Sometimes a woman will try something spectacular- a big affair, a new career, a “she shed” in the backyard, but more often she sneaks her suffering in around the edges of care taking and work.

From the outside, no one may notice anything amiss. Women may drain a bottle of wine whilst watching TV alone, use CBD edibles to decompress, or cry every afternoon in the pickup lane at school. Or, in the middle of the night, they might lie wide awake, eyes fixed on the ceiling. There has yet to be a blockbuster movie centered on a woman staring out her car’s windshield and sighing.

So I understand why some people consider “crisis” too extreme a word for high-functioning women experiencing what can look like merely malaise or a funk or a rough patch”.

This book is a MUST read for everyone who is You will be mind blown with how Ada seems to understand your life.

Click image below to purchase:

Some of my favourite passages from the book:

Weight gain:

Um, yes. The midlife body has a mind of its own. Can we make peace with it at last or do we all need to desire to be a MILF?

On social media:

Resilience in Challenging Times

A Care Package of Free Digital Tools and Teachings

Dear friends,

The team at Sounds True (the home of Buddhist Nun Pema Chodron and many other amazing teachers) has spent the past week putting together their hearts and minds to creatively come up with how they can best support you and the world at large as we find our way through this time of great challenge and uncertainty.

I am excited to share with you what they’ve come up with – a special Sounds True care package of free digital tools and teachings, “Resilience in Challenging Times.

resilience in challenging times

Resilience in Challenging Times” gives you:

Free access to daily video sessions sharing practical guidance and empowering insights from recent online summits

Community connection—”Physical distancing” does not have to mean “social distancing,” so we’ll be offering opportunities to come together online for group meditations and Facebook Live meetings. Let’s gather, learn, and support each other!

Free webinars addressing how to stay strong and centered with some of our most popular authors, including Michael Singer, Caroline Myss, Danielle La Porte, and others

Right now we’re witnessing a heightened sense of confusion and stress across our communities. It is our hope that “Resilience in Challenging Times” gives us a resource to productively use this time for growth and spiritual transformation, difficult as that sometimes can be, so we can turn towards our experience, care for ourselves, and become resources of love and sanity for others.

Much Love,

Sounds True Affiliate Partner- and long time fan of Pema Chodron

How to use Magnolia Essential Oil in Perimenopause and Menopause

magnolia perimenopause anxiety

Wondering how to use Magnolia essential oil to help you in Perimenopause and Menopause? It’s easy- Magnolia essential oil is a beautiful oil that you can wear as a perfume that is calming to the nervous system.

The Linalool content of Magnolia essential oil (it’s about 70%) will help alleviate any anxious feelings that you may have as a result of the changes in your limbic system.

You are not alone! An increase in feelings of anxiousness is the number one emotional change experienced by women going through perimenopause and menopause.

As the production of your hormones fluctuates- these fluctuations in the levels of estrogen, progesterone and testosterone cause changes in the brain- in particular the limbic system- which is the emotional control center of your body.

Because progesterone is a woman’s ‘calming’ hormone, with less of it around, it makes complete sense that we may feel more overwhelmed and easily stressed, anxious, edgy, and short-tempered. In many women, this leads to symptoms such as tension headaches, palpitations, digestive issues and more – and, in some cases, full-blown panic disorder. 

Sarah Rayner

To learn more about the changes in your body in perimenopause- can I recommend my Facebook group– or taking my online course?

Magnolia Essential Oil:

doTERRA Magnolia essential oil is sourced in China from the white champaca or white jade orchid tree. These flowers are used in traditional Chinese health practices to create balance in the body.

Magnolia essential oil is steam distilled from the petals of the flower. The blossoms can be harvested twice a year, but like Jasmine and Rose, Magnolia flowers do not have a high yield.

The doTERRA Magnolia Essential Oil Rollerball comes pre-diluted with fractionated coconut oil. It is safe and effective to apply directly to your face and body.

Did I mention it smells amazing?

magnolia perimnopause anxiety

Ready to feel calmer?

Shop for essential oils

Need to understand more about anxiety?

In this video, I explain how and why you can use aromatherapy and essential oils to help with anxiety.

Join our Perimenopause and Menopause community

Click on the image below to join us on Facebook where we have a very supportive perimenopause and menopause community.

Perimenopause facebook group

How to manage frustration anger and irritability during perimenopause and menopause

Anger in Perimenopause

If Perimenopause or Menopause has you feeling angry and frustrated, you are not alone! It’s the number one emotion that women experience during Perimenopause and Menopause.

Anger is a difficult emotion.

It is the emotion we chide ourselves for having and not containing.

It is an explosive emotion that we are told to keep under control.

Yet it is the very emotion that makes us sick when we repress it.

There is nothing wrong with being angry. It is a sign that something has insulted our ego or sense of self.

It is a sign that our values may have been compromised.

The key is to express anger without taking actions that cause negative repercussions.

Anger during perimenopause and menopause can be attributed to changes in our life, and the stuffing down of emotions that we may have repressed over our lifetime, to be a “good girl”.

However, once we are in perimenopause, we experience declines in the production of our sex hormones, and one of the implications of this is that we experience changes in our brain- our limbic system, which is the master controller of our emotions!

So rest assured it is not “just you”. You’re not “making it up”. There is a very valid chemical reaction that is going on in your body that is linked to the rage and frustration you are experiencing.

The challenge is to channel anger into positive action, through art, photography, music or exercise and not to throw things, drink, call names or any other angry behaviour.

anger in perimenopause
Recent article on midlife rage
anger in perimenopause

Help is at hand with essential oils. Your free guide includes the essential oils and specific blends which will help you manage your emotions and help you feel calmer and more in control.

Essential oils work with our olfactory and limbic systems. So our nose talks to the controller of our emotional brain via the encoded messages in the oils. Depending upon the oils you use, different messages are sent and they help you calm down, or uplift or inspire or reassure, or whatever emotional support it is that you need.

It’s more effective and faster than stuffing your face with cake, or alcohol or drugs when you are emotional, plus there are no side effects or addictions, and no extra kilos !!

Grab your free guide now.

Best essential oils for kids

Best essential oils for kids- the doTERRA Kids Collection.

Wondering what the best essential oils are for kids?

The answer is easy- it’s the doTERRA Kids collection.

With the kids collection you can safely empower your children to self soothe and manage their own emotions and health.

This kit contains 6 blends formulated into rollerballs which are pre-diluted with fractionated coconut oil. This makes it safe for kids to apply themselves on the bottom of their feet, behind their ears, on their wrists and on their tummies.

The flashcards teach the kids how to use the essential oils and identifies the feeling that the children will have once they have used the oils- calmer, stronger, braver etc.

The doTERRA kids collection contains:

  • Six unique 10ml roll-ons
  • Six silicone toppers with carabiners
  • Instructional flashcards
  • Carrying case with carabiner


Featuring Vetiver, Peppermint, Clementine, and Rosemary perfectly combined with Fractionated Coconut Oil for sensitive skins this blend is formulated to support when distractions are high and ideal when it’s time to pay attention and refocus.


Lavender, Cananga, Buddha Wood, and Roman Chamomile essential oils in a convenient and safe delivery method along with the skin moisturizing benefits of Fractionated Coconut Oil the blend provides a serene aroma, ideal for a peaceful bedtime routine. Try rolling onto the bottoms of feet and the back of the neck.


Cedarwood, Litsea, Frankincense, and Rose in a gentle and convenient format combined with Fractionated Coconut Oil, for when your child isn’t feeling the best. Stronger supports a natural immune defense and offers emotionally strengthening benefits


After a busy day of activity, apply Rescuer Soothing Blend for a relaxing sensation and to reduce feelings of tension for growing, tired legs. Copaiba, Lavender, Spearmint, and Zanthoxylum are expertly combined with Fractionated Coconut oil.


Steady draws on the unique benefits of essential oils such as Amyris, Balsam Fir, Coriander, and Magnolia perfectly blended with Fractionated Coconut Oil to deliver a calming effect perfect for all skin types


Combining Wild Orange, Amyris, Osmanthus, and Cinnamon Bark in a gentle and quick application method mixed expertly with Fractionated Coconut Oil, use when your child is feeling self-doubt, worry, or anxiety. 


To purchase the doTERRA Kids Kit please click here and chose the wholesale option. This kit is now available in Australia and New Zealand as a part of the Webvention kit. It will be available as a separate release June 2, 2020.

It is also available in USD and will be shipped from the USA. $105 wholesale USD. Product code = 60206616 Items in this kit will are available separately from the USA.

Siberian fir Essential Oil

Siberian Fir Essential Oil

Siberian Fir essential oil is an oil that you might associate with the smell of Christmas or snowy white forests in winter.

It’s wonderful for clearing stuffy heads and is the oil of mighty frost.

It’s perfect to help you emotionally rise above challenges.

Fabulous when used in massages to help relieve feelings of stress it’s also great for soothing minor skin irritations.

According to Desiree Mangandog in the book I am Fabulous, Siberian Fir “assists in breaking poor money habits that have been passed down the generations.

This oil helps to break patterns such as a lack of putting money in savings, a resistance to investing, a habit of spending more money than you earn, or gambling”.

siberian fir essential oil

siberian fir essential oil

If you have been using White Fir in a diffuser blend, then Siberian Fir is the perfect essential oil to use as a replacement oil.

To learn more about Siberian Fir, watch the video below.

Want Siberian Fir in your life?
You have two choices- purchase Retail below, or create a wholesale account with doTERRA for 25% discount and the opportunity to earn free products by participating in the Loyalty Rewards Scheme.


Pink Pepper Essential Oil

Pink Pepper Essential Oil: The Oil of True Love

Pink Pepper Essential Oil is a beautiful essential oil for those wanting to manifest true love in their life. It’s also for those who are looking for a beautiful essential oil to use when blending their own perfume or aromatic dressing, or is equally beautiful in a diffuser. The opportunities to use this oil are endless, and as you learn to use this oil, you too will fall in love with its versatility.

According to doTERRA,

The pink peppercorn, while similar in appearance to black peppercorn apart from the color, is closely related to cashews. The “molle,” or pink peppercorn tree, was considered a sacred tree to ancient Incans. Indigenous populations used all parts of the tree, including the pink peppercorn fruit, as herbal solutions to health needs. Pink Pepper essential oil is well known for its ability to help support a healthy metabolism and immune system when taken internally. Pink Pepper may also help the body maintain healthy cellular function and overall cellular health. Limonene and α-Phellandrene, two of the main chemical components of Pink Pepper essential oil, may be calming to the nervous system. Additionally, Limonene may help support healthy blood sugar and cholesterol levels already in the normal range when taken internally.

Skinny Jeans: Pink Pepper and Metabolism

Have you heard of the Skinny Jeans challenge? There are many versions floating around the net, but this is the most comprehensive. The supplements work as an addition to the essential oils, but you can achieve results using the essential oils by themselves.

Pink Pepper Diffuser Blends

Pink Pepper Essential Oil

Pink Pepper Essential Oil

pink pepper

How Pink Pepper Essential oil is sourced:

Talking about essential oils, is not complete without an exploration of their origin. Understanding how essential oils are sourced, gives us a wonderful insight into how nature created these magical oils and the importance of understanding the power of our purchasing dollars in uplifting the lives of others.  doTERRA sources Pink Pepper from two locations: from Kenya in Africa and Peru. Two sourcing models are used- traditional sourcing and co-impact sourcing.

In my own words- the reason I purchase doTERRA essential oils is that I understand that the oils come from trusted sources, they are not just purchased bulk from a middleman who bought it off another middleman. I can trust the quality and purity of the essential oils, because doTERRA goes to the original source, and develops relationships with the people who are actually growing the plants that are distilled, to make the essential oils.

In doTERRA’s own words:

Co-Impact Sourcing is an initiative that seeks to develop long-term, mutually beneficial supplier partnerships while creating sustainable jobs and providing reliable income in underdeveloped areas. doTERRA is committed to the ethical treatment of its suppliers by providing on-time payments at fair prices. Growers and harvesters are encouraged to form cooperative groups to share collective benefits and bargaining power while improving skills and capacity.

Additionally, the doTERRA Healing Hands Foundation® helps support development projects in sourcing communities. Projects include schools, health clinics, improved infrastructure and clean water systems.

In the video below, you will see how the simple act of being able to harvest Pink Peppercorns has helped two special women provide food for their children, when all hope had been lost after the death of their husbands.

Want these gorgeous oils in your life?


Myrrh Essential oil

Myrrh essential oil

Myrrh Essential oil

Myrrh Essential oil is a beautiful thick, sticky essential oil made from the resin of the Commiphora myrrha.

Native to regions in Africa and Arabia, the Commiphora myrrha is a small tree that produces a sap that hardens into the resin known as myrrh. Typically a thorny tree or shrub, the myrrh tree produces few leaves and rugged, angled branches. Due to its highly aromatic nature, myrrh has been used since ancient times for medicine, perfumery, incense, religious purposes, and burials. When extracted, sap from the myrrh tree, also referred to as myrrh gum, eventually hardens and dries into myrrh resin. When the myrrh tree is harvested, it “bleeds” the tree sap, which then turns hard and glossy. Through steam distillation, myrrh resin is converted into an essential oil with a dry, woody aroma.  Source: doterra.com

According to Modern Essentials, because of its chemical constituents Myrrh is

It has been used historically as incense in religious rituals, in embalming and as a cure for many ailments including herpes, cancer, leprosy and syphilis. The French have also used it medicinally to help with a wide range of issues including respiratory and digestion related issues and thrush.

Myrrh is also reputed to be fantastic for oral health and if you watch the video below you will find out about how Myrrh and other trees were linked to the origin of the humble toothbrush!

Myrrh essential oil for beauty and Skincare

Researchers have found that the topical application of Myrrh essential oil can help decrease sebum damage and protect skin from damage.

Due to its chemical design, Myrrh oil has proven:

  • to be helpful for cleansing,
  • improving the appearance of skin,
  • and promoting grounding feelings or the balancing of emotions.

The sesquiterpene ethers in Myrrh essential oil are known for their soothing properties, which is why Myrrh is useful for soothing the skin or soothing emotions.

One of the primary sesquiterpene ethers in Myrrh oil, curzerene, is commonly added to skin care products because of its ability to improve the appearance of skin.

Myrrh essential oil is an active ingredient in the dotERRA Spa Clarifying Mud Mask and in Salubelle (Imortelle in USA), both pictured below.

myrrh essential oil

myrrh essential oil

Blends using Myrrh Essential oil

My favourite oil to blend with Myrrh is lavender, but it is a match made in heaven with Sandalwood and Frankincense and also Cedarwood, to achieve deep rest and relaxation.

myrrh essential oil

DIY: Razor Relief Serum

DIY: Cuticle Cream

Emotional Properties of Myrrh:

Emotions & Essential oils- A Modern Resource for Healing identifies Myrrh as the Oil of Mother Earth due to its nurturing properties.

Myrrh oil nurtures the soul’s relationship with its maternal mother and with the earth. This oil supports individuals who have had disturbances with the mother-child bond. Whether it is a division between the child and the biological mother or whether it be mother earth herself, Myrrh can help bridge the gap and heal the disturbance. This division or lack of attachment may be related to adoption, birth trauma, malnourishment, experiences of abandonment or other childhood issues. Myrrh helps the soul to feel the love and nurturing presence of mother. Similar to the nutrient-rich colostrum found in mothers milk, Myrrh oil inoculates individuals from the adverse and harmful effects of the world. Like the warmth of a mother’s love for her child, Myrrh assists individuals in feeling safe and secure”. 

To purchase Myrrh essential oil, click on the image below and follow the instructions.

Myrrh essential oil


Rosemary for remembrance

Rosemary for remembrance


Rosemary for remembrance: Rosemary is a herb with great symbolism and significance depending on who you are – it is a symbol of the Anzacs, the name of my Aunty and great Aunty, the herb we placed with photos on my Croatian grandfather’s grave that went into the earth with him, a beautiful plant in my mother’ garden and the quintessential herb for Aussie lamb.

It’s aroma means different things to different people, but above all it is an aroma which invokes memories. For me, the reminder of the Anzac long weekend makes me think of my mate Amanda and the sorrow she must feel with all her fallen comrades, and the birthday of an ill friend Julie. It’s also the birthday on the 23rd of my Aunty Joy and my cousin Kim. And then the memory that most years I am able to forget- the memory of my wedding weekend.

Lest we forget how bittersweet life is, that life is for service above self, and that through aroma we can unlock and create memories to behold for the future.


Dating after divorce

Dating after divorce


How soon is too soon to start dating after divorce? The answer to this is both simple and complex. It is also highly individual. Before you start dating, you must process your emotions surrounding the dissolution of your previous relationship. Or to put it simply, don’t just fuck someone for revenge.

Only you can tell when the time is right, and like most of us, you will think you are ready, when you are not. The best thing you can do is take some time to be alone, to grieve, to rebuild your strength and courage and self identity and to enjoy being by yourself. In short, learn to love yourself first, before you date again.



If you run into the arms of another lover you risk making the same mistakes. You also risk starting a relationship based on that person’s ability to “fix” you.

There are times when we are propelled into dating, to help with a physical urge to feel wanted and needed, and to fill a sexual hole. It’s understandable, but it’s also empty sex. Devoid of love and meaning.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself.  You will stuff up, but date by date, you will learn a little more about yourself, about the qualities that you do and don’t want this time, and you will learn what you heart can bear, and what it desires.

I started dating about a year after my divorce. Or should I say tried to date. It was not successful, as I was hurt and angry and propelled this onto prospective dates. This inevitably resulted in some now funny, dating disasters. I needed three years alone to face the dating world again.

How has your dating experience been post separation and divorce?