How to manage frustration anger and irritability during perimenopause and menopause

Anger in Perimenopause

If Perimenopause or Menopause has you feeling angry and frustrated, you are not alone! It’s the number one emotion that women experience during Perimenopause and Menopause.

Anger is a difficult emotion.

It is the emotion we chide ourselves for having and not containing.

It is an explosive emotion that we are told to keep under control.

Yet it is the very emotion that makes us sick when we repress it.

There is nothing wrong with being angry. It is a sign that something has insulted our ego or sense of self.

It is a sign that our values may have been compromised.

The key is to express anger without taking actions that cause negative repercussions.

Anger during perimenopause and menopause can be attributed to changes in our life, and the stuffing down of emotions that we may have repressed over our lifetime, to be a “good girl”.

However, once we are in perimenopause, we experience declines in the production of our sex hormones, and one of the implications of this is that we experience changes in our brain- our limbic system, which is the master controller of our emotions!

So rest assured it is not “just you”. You’re not “making it up”. There is a very valid chemical reaction that is going on in your body that is linked to the rage and frustration you are experiencing.

The challenge is to channel anger into positive action, through art, photography, music or exercise and not to throw things, drink, call names or any other angry behaviour.

anger in perimenopause
Recent article on midlife rage
anger in perimenopause

Help is at hand with essential oils. Your free guide includes the essential oils and specific blends which will help you manage your emotions and help you feel calmer and more in control.

Essential oils work with our olfactory and limbic systems. So our nose talks to the controller of our emotional brain via the encoded messages in the oils. Depending upon the oils you use, different messages are sent and they help you calm down, or uplift or inspire or reassure, or whatever emotional support it is that you need.

It’s more effective and faster than stuffing your face with cake, or alcohol or drugs when you are emotional, plus there are no side effects or addictions, and no extra kilos !!

Grab your free guide now.

best essential oils for kids

Best essential oils for kids

Best essential oils for kids- the doTERRA Kids kit

best essential oils for kids

Wondering what the best essential oils are for kids? The answer is easy- it’s the doTERRA Kids collection. With the kids collection you can safely empower your children to self soothe and manage their own emotions and health. This kit contains 6 blends formulated into rollerballs which are pre-diluted with fractionated coconut oil. This makes it safe for kids to apply themselves on the bottom of their feet, behind their ears, on their wrists and on their tummies. The flashcards teach the kids how to use the essential oils and identifies the feeling that the children will have once they have used the oils- clamer, stronger, braver etc.

The doTERRA kids collection contains:

  • Six unique 10mL roll-ons
    • Thinker™: featuring Vetiver, Peppermint, Clementine, and Rosemary perfectly combined with Fractionated Coconut Oil for sensitive skin
    • Calmer™: Lavender, Cananga, Buddha Wood, and Roman Chamomile essential oils in a convenient and safe delivery method along with the skin moisturizing benefits of Fractionated Coconut Oil
    • Stronger™: Cedarwood, Litsea, Frankincense, and Rose in a gentle and convenient format combined with Fractionated Coconut Oil,
    • Rescuer™: After a busy day of activity, apply Rescuer Soothing Blend for a relaxing sensation and to reduce feelings of tension for growing, tired legs. Copaiba, Lavender, Spearmint, and Zanthoxylum are expertly combined with Fractionated Coconut oil.
    • Steady™: Steady draws on the unique benefits of essential oils such as Amyris, Balsam Fir, Coriander, and Magnolia perfectly blended with Fractionated Coconut Oil to deliver a calming effect perfect for all skin types
    • Brave: Combining Wild Orange, Amyris, Osmanthus, and Cinnamon Bark in a gentle and quick application method mixed expertly with Fractionated Coconut Oil,
  • Six silicone toppers with carabiners
  • Instructional flashcards
  • Carrying case with carabiner

 

 

To purchase the doTERRA Kids Kit please  click here and chose the wholesale option.   This kit is only available in USD and will be shipped from the USA.  $114USD. Product code  = 60206616  Items in this kit will be available separately from December 3, 2018.

Siberian fir Essential Oil

Siberian Fir Essential Oil

Siberian Fir essential oil is an oil that you might associate with the smell of Christmas or snowy white forests in winter.

It’s wonderful for clearing stuffy heads and is the oil of mighty frost.

It’s perfect to help you emotionally rise above challenges.

Fabulous when used in massages to help relieve feelings of stress it’s also great for soothing minor skin irritations.

According to Desiree Mangandog in the book I am Fabulous, Siberian Fir “assists in breaking poor money habits that have been passed down the generations.

This oil helps to break patterns such as a lack of putting money in savings, a resistance to investing, a habit of spending more money than you earn, or gambling”.

siberian fir essential oil

siberian fir essential oil

If you have been using White Fir in a diffuser blend, then Siberian Fir is the perfect essential oil to use as a replacement oil.

To learn more about Siberian Fir, watch the video below.

Want Siberian Fir in your life?
You have two choices- purchase Retail below, or create a wholesale account with doTERRA for 25% discount and the opportunity to earn free products by participating in the Loyalty Rewards Scheme.

Pink Pepper Essential Oil

Pink Pepper Essential Oil: The Oil of True Love

Pink Pepper Essential Oil: The Oil of True love

Pink Pepper Essential Oil is a new release to doTERRA and is a beautiful essential oil for those wanting to manifest true love in their life. It’s also for those who are looking for a beautiful essential oil to use when blending their own perfume or aromatic dressing, or is equally beautiful in a diffuser. The opportunities to use this oil are endless, and as you learn to use this oil, you too will fall in love with its versatility.

Pink Pepper Essential Oil

According to doTERRA,

The pink peppercorn, while similar in appearance to black peppercorn apart from the color, is closely related to cashews. The “molle,” or pink peppercorn tree, was considered a sacred tree to ancient Incans. Indigenous populations used all parts of the tree, including the pink peppercorn fruit, as herbal solutions to health needs.

Pink Pepper essential oil is well known for its ability to help support a healthy metabolism and immune system when taken internally.

Pink Pepper may also help the body maintain healthy cellular function and overall cellular health.

Limonene and α-Phellandrene, two of the main chemical components of Pink Pepper essential oil, may be calming to the nervous system.

Additionally, Limonene may help support healthy blood sugar and cholesterol levels already in the normal range when taken internally.

Skinny Jeans: Pink Pepper and Metabolism

Have you heard of the Skinny Jeans challenge? There are many versions floating around the net, but this is the most comprehensive. The supplements work as an addition to the essential oils, but you can achieve results using the essential oils by themselves.

Pink Pepper Diffuser Blends

Pink Pepper Essential Oil

Pink Pepper Essential Oil

pink pepper

How Pink Pepper Essential oil is sourced:

Talking about essential oils, is not complete without an exploration of their origin. Understanding how essential oils are sourced, gives us a wonderful insight into how nature created these magical oils and the importance of understanding the power of our purchasing dollars in uplifting the lives of others.  doTERRA sources Pink Pepper from two locations: from Kenya in Africa and Peru. Two sourcing models are used- traditional sourcing and co-impact sourcing.

In my own words- the reason I purchase doTERRA essential oils is that I understand that the oils come from trusted sources, they are not just purchased bulk from a middleman who bought it off another middleman. I can trust the quality and purity of the essential oils, because doTERRA goes to the original source, and develops relationships with the people who are actually growing the plants that are distilled, to make the essential oils.

In doTERRA’s own words:

Co-Impact Sourcing is an initiative that seeks to develop long-term, mutually beneficial supplier partnerships while creating sustainable jobs and providing reliable income in underdeveloped areas. doTERRA is committed to the ethical treatment of its suppliers by providing on-time payments at fair prices. Growers and harvesters are encouraged to form cooperative groups to share collective benefits and bargaining power while improving skills and capacity.

Additionally, the doTERRA Healing Hands Foundation® helps support development projects in sourcing communities. Projects include schools, health clinics, improved infrastructure and clean water systems.

In the video below, you will see how the simple act of being able to harvest Pink Peppercorns has helped two special women provide food for their children, when all hope had been lost after the death of their husbands.

Want these gorgeous oils in your life?

http://shop.katische.com/shopforessentialoils

Myrrh essential oil

Myrrh Essential oil

Myrrh essential oil

Myrrh Essential oil

Myrrh Essential oil is a beautiful thick, sticky essential oil made from the resin of the Commiphora myrrha.

Native to regions in Africa and Arabia, the Commiphora myrrha is a small tree that produces a sap that hardens into the resin known as myrrh. Typically a thorny tree or shrub, the myrrh tree produces few leaves and rugged, angled branches. Due to its highly aromatic nature, myrrh has been used since ancient times for medicine, perfumery, incense, religious purposes, and burials. When extracted, sap from the myrrh tree, also referred to as myrrh gum, eventually hardens and dries into myrrh resin. When the myrrh tree is harvested, it “bleeds” the tree sap, which then turns hard and glossy. Through steam distillation, myrrh resin is converted into an essential oil with a dry, woody aroma.  Source: doterra.com

According to Modern Essentials, because of its chemical constituents Myrrh is

It has been used historically as incense in religious rituals, in embalming and as a cure for many ailments including herpes, cancer, leprosy and syphilis. The French have also used it medicinally to help with a wide range of issues including respiratory and digestion related issues and thrush.

Myrrh is also reputed to be fantastic for oral health and if you watch the video below you will find out about how Myrrh and other trees were linked to the origin of the humble toothbrush!

 

Myrrh essential oil for beauty and Skincare

Researchers have found that the topical application of Myrrh essential oil can help decrease sebum damage and protect skin from damage.

Due to its chemical design, Myrrh oil has proven to be helpful for cleansing, improving the appearance of skin, and promoting grounding feelings or the balancing of emotions. The sesquiterpene ethers in Myrrh essential oil are known for their soothing properties, which is why Myrrh is useful for soothing the skin or soothing emotions. One of the primary sesquiterpene ethers in Myrrh oil, curzerene, is commonly added to skin care products because of its ability to improve the appearance of skin.

 

Myrrh essential oil is an active ingredient in the dotERRA Spa Clarifying Mud Mask and in Salubelle (Imortelle in USA), both pictured below.

 

myrrh essential oil

myrrh essential oil

 

Blends using Myrrh Essential oil

My favourite oil to blend with Myrrh is lavender, but it is a match made in heaven with Sandalwood and Frankincense and also Cedarwood, to achieve deep rest and relaxation.

 

myrrh essential oil

 

 

DIY: Razor Relief Serum

DIY: Cuticle Cream

Emotional Properties of Myrrh:

Emotions & Essential oils- A Modern Resource for Healing identifies Myrrh as the Oil of Mother Earth due to its nurturing properties.

Myrrh oil nurtures the soul’s relationship with its maternal mother and with the earth. This oil supports individuals who have had disturbances with the mother-child bond. Whether it is a division between the child and the biological mother or whether it be mother earth herself, Myrrh can help bridge the gap and heal the disturbance. This division or lack of attachment may be related to adoption, birth trauma, malnourishment, experiences of abandonment or other childhood issues. Myrrh helps the soul to feel the love and nurturing presence of mother. Similar to the nutrient-rich colostrum found in mothers milk, Myrrh oil inoculates individuals from the adverse and harmful effects of the world. Like the warmth of a mother’s love for her child, Myrrh assists individuals in feeling safe and secure”. 

 

To purchase Myrrh essential oil, click on the image below and follow the instructions.  In December 2017, Myrrh is 10% off with a wholesale price of $83.25 AUD for Australian customers or $110.29 AUD for retail customers.

Myrrh essential oil

 

 

 

remembrance

Rosemary for remembrance

Rosemary for remembrance

remembrance

Rosemary for remembrance: Rosemary is a herb with great symbolism and significance depending on who you are – it is a symbol of the Anzacs, the name of my Aunty and great Aunty, the herb we placed with photos on my Croatian grandfather’s grave that went into the earth with him, a beautiful plant in my mother’ garden and the quintessential herb for Aussie lamb.

It’s aroma means different things to different people, but above all it is an aroma which invokes memories. For me, the reminder of the Anzac long weekend makes me think of my mate Amanda and the sorrow she must feel with all her fallen comrades, and the birthday of an ill friend Julie. It’s also the birthday on the 23rd of my Aunty Joy and my cousin Kim. And then the memory that most years I am able to forget- the memory of my wedding weekend.

Lest we forget how bittersweet life is, that life is for service above self, and that through aroma we can unlock and create memories to behold for the future.

dating-after-divorce

Dating after divorce

Dating after divorce

dating-after-divorce

How soon is too soon to start dating after divorce? The answer to this is both simple and complex. It is also highly individual. Before you start dating, you must process your emotions surrounding the dissolution of your previous relationship. Or to put it simply, don’t just fuck someone for revenge.
dating-after-divorce

Only you can tell when the time is right, and like most of us, you will think you are ready, when you are not. The best thing you can do is take some time to be alone, to grieve, to rebuild your strength and courage and self identity and to enjoy being by yourself. In short, learn to love yourself first, before you date again.

dating-after-divorce

 

If you run into the arms of another lover you risk making the same mistakes. You also risk starting a relationship based on that person’s ability to “fix” you.

There are times when we are propelled into dating, to help with a physical urge to feel wanted and needed, and to fill a sexual hole. It’s understandable, but it’s also empty sex. Devoid of love and meaning.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself.  You will stuff up, but date by date, you will learn a little more about yourself, about the qualities that you do and don’t want this time, and you will learn what you heart can bear, and what it desires.

I started dating about a year after my divorce. Or should I say tried to date. It was not successful, as I was hurt and angry and propelled this onto prospective dates. This inevitably resulted in some now funny, dating disasters. I needed three years alone to face the dating world again.

How has your dating experience been post separation and divorce?

how to deal with anger after divorce

How to deal with anger after divorce

How to deal with anger after divorce.

how to deal with anger after divorce

Image Credit: Bigstock.com

Are you wondering how to deal with anger after divorce? You’re not alone.

I think everyone who has gone through divorce experiences anger at some point in their life. It’s an emotion I am very familiar with.

This morning I lost my temper after receiving a text message from my ex husband. The circumstances are not what is important, however, what surprised me, was that after 6 years, I am still emotionally triggered by certain things that he does. And today, was a storm in a tea-cup. I was ready with the blame and the frustration and the anger, and for once, it was not water off a duck’s back. That’s life isn’t it? Feelings creep up on you, and unresolved they explode, if you are not mindful of them.

Often in the middle of a disturbing emotion, we lose sense of perspective and objectivity. Anger is a message that one of our fundamental values has been compromised, and it insults and irritates us. The extent to which it does, sometimes correlates to the extent of our anger. Other times, it’s a lack of sleep, distraction and misinterpretation, and those stories we have in our head.  You know the ones that go like this…

 

I can’t believe he said that!

What does he think I am?

How selfish!

expletive expletive

It’s his son for xxx sake.

What a stingy bastard.

 

Now the above may or may not be true.

It is possible that what was said, was simply interpreted in your mind according to your perspective, and isn’t what they meant at all.

A good test is to explain what was said to an impartial person.  If they say, “No, I don’t think they meant that” then it is highly likely that you overreacted. Don’t shame yourself over it. Just learn from the experience.

There is nothing wrong with anger as an emotion, and repressing it serves no purpose other than to create mental and physical disharmony. However, we need to find ways to become mindful of our anger as it rises, so that we can find ways to express it and then move forward.

For me, if I can be mindful enough to access my essential oils, I can calm down fast enough to change my perspective, get a little space and not overreact.

How to deal with anger after divorce using essential oils:

Essential oils are the volatile liquids that are distilled from plants.  Being an all natural substance, they are much kinder to your body and mind that diffusing anger with food, alcohol, video games, revenge sex, physical violence or any other form of distraction.  Essential oils help promote emotional, physical and spiritual healing. Each different essential oil has different emotional components which are interpreted by the amygdala which is stimulated by fragrance.

When we inhale essential oils, we access our limbic system via our olfactory system (your nose).  The limbic system is the control centre for emotions in our body. So when we inhale essential oils, they travel up the nasal passage via the mucous membranes and reach the limbic system. There they are interpreted and then a message is sent through your nervous system to your body. So if we understand which essential oils create the varying emotional responses, then we can reach for the correct essential oil, or combination of essential oils, at the right time.

What is a diffuser and how will it help me deal with my anger after divorce?

A diffuser is a simple device that you plug into electricity that contains water. It sends out cool mist which contains the aroma molecules of the essential oils you have placed in with the water. You generally need only 4-6 drops of essential oil each time you use the diffuser. Diffusers vary by brand and functionality, however, I like the Petal diffuser because it has 3 timer settings, a night light and it turns off automatically when the diffuser runs out of water. A diffuser of this size generally sends out enough aroma for one standard room.

Don’t be fooled, extra water storage capacity does NOT mean that it will service a bigger room. You need a specialised diffuser which has controls to change the intensity of the aroma.

 

how to deal with anger after divorce

What essential oils should I use to help with my anger after divorce?

Cardamom essential oil is the oil of objectivity. It is perfect if you get hot headed as a result of frustration and anger with other people. It helps bring mental clarity and balance and objectivity. It also assists with the “digestion” of intense emotions by redirecting the energy to the solar plexus, the centre of responsibility. Cardamom essential oil will help you stop blaming others and take personal ownership and responsibility for your feelings, resulting in you feeling calmer and more peaceful and in control.

How to deal with anger after divorce

 

how to deal with anger after divorce how to deal with anger after divorce

Topical application of essential oils to help with anger after divorce:

The second way to diminish feelings of anger, that is more portable than lugging a diffuser around with you, is topically. What this means is applying the essential oils to your skin, on your pulse points. Now the rule of thumb is always to dilute the essential oil in a carrier oil such as fractionated coconut. 1 drop per teaspoon of coconut oil. However, this is not always practical, so I always buy the essential oils that I want to keep in my bag, in a rollerball, that way they are already pre-diluted. Peace of mind.

Here’s an example of two essential oils that are already in a rollerball, that help with calming the emotions:

 

how to deal with anger after divorce

Why is it important for me to deal with my anger after divorce? Isn’t it just a “stage” I am going through that is justified?

It is important to deal with your anger as it arises. Why? Becuase your thoughts are actually physical, they become chemicals inside our bodies once we think them.

“The instance a thought occurs, you hypothalamus – ‘the control centre’ at the base of the brain- turns that thought into hundreds of neuropeptides, each associated with the dominant emotion of the corresponding thought. Those neuropeptides – your thoughts- are actual molecules being transmitted through your mind and body”…..”The body’s cells develop more and more specialised receptors for the neuropeptides to which they are most exposed. In fact, cells will even begin to crave these neuropeptides and ask the hypothalamus to produce them. Over time your cells wind up supporting a self-fulfilling emotional prophecy all brought about by the power of thought.”

Source: Living Healthy & Happily Ever After by Rebecca Linder Hints and Dr. Susan Lawton.

So, in short, if you don’t tend to your anger and learn to watch it rise, and diffuse it gently then you will become increasingly angry as a default emotional response.

Why not let essential oils be the tool that helps you?

If you need additional help with other emotions you are experiencing then the following pages will help you with anxiety, stress, and heartbreak and grief. This webinar also covers how essential oils help manage emotions.

 

The products below will help you manage your anger and are listed at RETAIL prices in USD. If you would prefer to have a WHOLESALE membership (saving 25%) and pay in your own currency then this is the link you need. 

 

positive reflections on loss and grief

Positive reflections on loss and grief

Morning! Just wanted to share with you the Instagram account of my wondering friend and acclaimed Author and Grief Therapist Claire Bidwell Smith. Every Sunday morning (USA time) she is sharing a post and asking for reflection about grief. If you have lost a loved one and would like to share your positive experiences about the loss, then today’s post is for you.

positive reflections on loss and grief

Find her on Instagram here. 

Here’s what I wrote to Claire.

At a purely selfish level, if I hadn’t lost dad, I wouldn’t have read your books and found you 🙂 I think that loss makes you much more aware of the destructive power of fear. My fear lead to pretty foul anxiety attacks, which lead me to understanding the use of essential oils, which lead to my current business. Loss also lead me to continue writing to process my emotions, at a time when photography (my usual way of expressing emotions) was not possible. My constant writing has lead to my son’s loving the craft of writing naturally, and they are amazingly talented- so much more than myself. I think that loss shows you that you can survive, even if you don’t want to know what life would be like without them. It forces you to redefine what is important to you in life. It has made me stick up for my mother and myself in situations where I would have otherwise accepted less than perfect treatment and I am now passionate about palliative care, something that I would have never considered in the past.

best essential oils for stress and anxiety

Best essential oils for dealing with stress and anxiety

best essential oils for stress and anxiety

Best essential oils for dealing with stress and anxiety

What are the best essential oils for dealing with stress and anxiety, and is it ok to admit you feel anxious?

I get a lot of messages quietly from friends who don’t want anyone to know that they are feeling anxious. There seems to be a sense of shame about it, to admit that you are not coping. You know what? I can’t find many people who live in this modern day and age who haven’t found themselves in a situation at one stage or the other who haven’t felt anxious.  Change produces anxiety becuase we stress and mull over what might happen in the future.  Change happens very quickly thanks to modern technology.

Our modern lives are so busy and filled with deadlines and activities that it doesn’t take much to begin to feel stressed and a little anxious. The number of families who are now dealing with an absent parent due to FIFO (fly in fly out) roles, is incredible. Add the divorce statistics on top of this, and you’ll realise that the world is actually filled with couples and families experiencing distress from physical and emotional distance based separation. We’ve never had to deal with it on such a scale before. One person is left to stay at the “fort” and carry on as usual and the other one is permanently feeling like they are splitting themselves in two.

Couple this with our expectations of perfection, exacerbated by our friend’s seemingly perfect lives on Instagram and Facebook, and it doesn’t take long to feel like our family is the only one which is disorganised, shouty and messy, and that we should be doing a better job with the kids, our marriage and our lives.  Heck it feels stressful just writing those sentences.

We look back at previous generations and think “What am I doing wrong?”. Actually nothing. Your perception of your life as a child is different than the reality of how your parents coped at the time. One of my closest friends told me yesterday that she was given a stack of her mother’s personal letters to her family to read, by her mother, for the express purpose of understanding that she was doing nothing wrong. The reality of being human is that we all wear a mask of coping and confide in those closest to us when we need help. We don’t necessarily broadcast it to our children and the world.

Some people cope with 5pm wine.

Or a wine whilst cooking and another with dinner.

Or emotional eating.

Or sex with strangers via online dating sites.

Smoking. Doing drugs.

Shopping.

Bingeing on tv, that they don’t even really want to watch.

Never ending scrolling on Facebook

Or over exercising

Or simply retreating emotionally and distancing themselves.

 

What I would like to propose is that anxious feelings and stress are a normal part of life, and I would like to show you some tools that I use to help me cope. What I have taught myself is how to reach for essential oils and to supplement my diet, rather than repress my feelings or let myself get overwhelmed.  I believe that all emotions are healthy, but the key is to act on them as they arise, and make sure that we don’t get stuck in one particular emotion.

Based on my personal experiences over the past few years, I highly recommend every family examine implements a sensory routine in their lives. I believe a sensory routine is actually a recipe for sanity!

Here’s what we do in our household, and it helps! Why not try it in yours?

Here is the power combination:

  1. Create a daily sensory routine  (see images below)
  2. Use DDR Prime supplementation  The Frankincense helps reduce inflammation in your body, which is what is caused by stress. Inflammation is one of the prime causes of disease in the body. It also helps with elevating mood and making you feel grounded and calm. Since taking the DDR Prime, my immunity has been at an all time high!
  3. Carry the one essential oil you find is your “rescue remedy” with you at all times. I used bergamot when I had panic attacks. These days I am more likely to carry Balance or Peace with me in my handbag or put it on a lava bead necklace or bracelet.
  4. Investigate your gut health by participating in a gut health reboot program (we run one every three months, or you can do your own version here) or starting on the Life Long Vitality Supplements. Understand the link between your gut and your mental health.

 

Trust me it works! I have experienced anxiety and this is the protocol that I discovered worked best for me!

Manage your stress and anxiety through the power of a sensory routine

sensory routine

sensory routine

sensory routine

sensory routine

 

sensory routine

 

sensory routine

 

sensory routine

 

Best essential oils for stress and anxiety Best essential oils for dealing with stress and anxiety

Here’s a Facebook Live that I recorded earlier about the Mood Management Kit- which I recommend using as the basis of your sensory routine.

 

If you would like to find out more contact me, or if you are ready to purchase these wonderful essential oils and a diffuser click here.  Please do not use a tea light candle diffuser as the heat destroys the therapeutic benefits of the essential oils and you are left with just a pretty smell.

 

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